Copyright 2006 Johanna Vanderpol
Our culture makes anger a dirty word. Yet, it is an emotion that deserves attention. Because it has not received the proper attention, it is responsible for coming out "all wrong" and come out it will. The way to manage anger is by recognizing it as a valid emotion with a purpose. Next time you are angry, look at it as a form of information that has a message for you. Determine the message and act in a way that satisfies the message with self-respect and respect for others. Here are ten points to keep in mind as you move through anger:
1. Recognize that anger is a valid message that something is wrong.
2. Experience the sensations in the body: Where do you feel it? What does it feel like?
3. Determine the message in the emotion. What is the message? What is anger trying to tell you? Have one of your boundaries been violated? Is it a response to protect you from feeling hurt? Are your goals being frustrated? Are you responding to feeling threatened? Has your sense of justice been betrayed? Figure out the message. Your body and mind are trying to tell you something.
4. Understand the other person's point of view. Are you angry at someone? Have you thought about or talked about what may have provoked their behaviour? If you can truly understand, it will change your anger.
5. Understand your need for nourishing people in your life. Is your anger a pattern, a theme with the same kinds of problems with the same kinds of people? Is it time to respect yourself and choose friends and others who treat you better?
6. Recognize your beliefs. What beliefs about yourself and others are driving your anger. Use the ABC exercise on my site to excavate your beliefs. Are your beliefs adaptive or maladaptive? If they are adaptive, go ahead to action. If they are maladaptive, what new belief do you need to try that would work better or be more accurate?
7. Take action. Inherent in the message of anger is the need for non-violent action that is respectful of self and others. This is the tricky one. What action is required here that will satisfy the anger without causing damage to anyone including yourself.
8. Manage your anger. If you need to manage your anger, in what ways can you do that which would allow you to continue to function?
9. Acknowledge the anger. Suspend self-judgment. Are you truly acknowledging your anger, even if you know it is connected to a maladaptive belief that you haven't yet changed completely? Acknowledging and having compassion for yourself in a nurturing style will go a long way to having your anger feel heard.
10. Look for moderation. Remember, suppressed anger is linked to cancer and cathartic anger is linked to cardiovascular heart disease. Find the moderate point on the continuum for hearing and taking appropriate action and your anger will be attended to in a way that is befitting for all concerned.
Now that you have some new insight, what will you do today to bring it into consciousness and apply it. Every day we get angry but don't pay much attention to it. Today, notice a small thing you are angry at and apply any one of these principles or insights and see how it changes things for you. I would love to hear if it had any effect for you.

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Johanna Vanderpol is a professional coach, author and speaker on emotional intelligence, emotional well-being and de-stressing. For more free resources and articles as well as her latest products in this field, go to http://www.johannavanderpol.com and download exercises and articles complimenting this article on the support page.


Are Miracles All Around Us?
Copyright 2006 Don McAvinchey
Are miracles the norm in your life? If not, let's look at that for a moment.
We have to look first at what it is that we are doing every moment of every day, all the time: we are manifesting.
That's right. We are creating our world all around us, all the time. You may think this is crazy talk, but just read up on some of the quantum physicist's writings the last twenty years and you'll discover that there is a ton of evidence that says that with our consciousness, our minds, and the power we have within us, we bring what is floating around in the Universe as potential, and focus it into becoming reality each moment.
If you haven't seen the move, "What the BLEEP Do We Know?" yet, well, you're missing out on the greatest power imaginable -- the power to create that you have, right now.
Even if you don't believe this idea, you have to at least admit that we are creating our lives through our reactions and responses to what shows up in our lives. If we can start with that premise, than we can go somewhere together today.
So what are miracles, and why aren't you seeing more of them each day?
The best definition I can come up with for the word "miracle" comes from the dictionary: A person, thing or event that inspires admiring awe.
Awe. That's the key word for me. When events happen through serendipity, they take my breath away because they are so awe-inspiring.
Here's one: I recently had a person come out of the blue to me and say, "I really love your work, your writing, and the spirit behind what you're doing. I'd like to become your marketing director for your seminars, ebooks, and keynote speeches, and do so on a direct percentage basis. You only pay me if I prove myself valuable to you."
Now, I don't know about you, but that's a miracle in my book!
I believe that the more we look to see these miracles, the more they happen.
And the more they happen, the more we'll see them.
It all starts with intention. What is your intention regarding miracles in your life?
Here's a test for the reality of your intention about miracles, if you can't figure out the answer to the question above. What do you tell people when they ask you, "How's it going?"
If you find yourself giving one of these types of responses:
"Not bad, but there's some yucky stuff going on, and let me tell you about it..."
"Good. Well, pretty good. Actually, not so good."
Or any response that leads you into a story of woe...
Then your focus is on something other than miracles in your life. And the more we focus on something other than miracles in our life, the more we get something other than miracles in our life. Pretty simple formula, actually.
Is this for real, this idea of the more we focus, the more what we're focusing on shows up?
It's the essence of the quantum physicists' idea: focus of consciousness brings energy into reality.
How about a simple test? Try this: bring a picture to mind of something in life: could be an apple, or a cat, or clouds, or someone you love and care about. Hold that thought for a minute, feeling the feelings that come with it.
Now, set the intention that you will come across the manifestation of this picture sometime soon. Then let the picture go from your consciousness.
Over the next day or so, keep an eye out for when, and if, your focused item shows up for you in your life. It happens to me all the time. From new clients to favorite food, from money to a hug, when I focus on something now it shows up, sometimes within minutes, sometimes a day or so later.
Coincidence, you say? Maybe. But what fun is that to believe in??!!
I encourage you to look for miracles. Seek them out. And if you get an attitude reading this short article on miracles, and say to yourself, "Bah, humbug", and check that attitude at the door.
Does that attitude make your life better? Nope? So leave it behind!
Search out those miracles in your life. They're there. Trust me, just this once. The more you'll look for them, the more they'll begin showing up.

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Spiritual Coach Don McAvinchey helps people learn to put their lives first at http://www.MagicBaldGuy.com . To sign up for more free tips like these and claim your FREE e-course gift, Getting Unstuck and Back on Track, visit his site at http://www.getunstuck.info


Turn Your Life Around – All it Takes is a Decision
Imagine being so filled with hopelessness, you find yourself running through a cemetery with tears streaming down your face. Your lungs burn from the exertion and your heart, labouring to keep pace, feels so heavy it threatens to drag you down into one of the many graves that surround you.

What could make someone plunge to such depths and, more importantly, how does a person go from feeling that wretched to absolutely rocking with self confidence. Well, the answer is quite simple really. You make a decision.
This story is not about me – I know you may have been wondering. It is about a remarkable young man called Mark Anastasi. Allow me to go back in time so you can understand how Mark came to be in this state. Also, let me assure you that, despite the sombre opening of my story, this is a tale of truth, joy and love.
In 1997, Mark full of hope and ambition, left Greece for the UK to study Business Management. He was just 17 and 7 years later he was fired from his job. For 5 months he earned nothing. He was getting further and further into debt. He was kicked out of his apartment and had nowhere to live. He sold everything he owned until he was left with just a suitcase of clothes and a pair of rollerblades. His control over his life was slipping out of his grasp and he was reaching breaking point.
So it came to be that Mark found himself running through a cemetery, his tears indistinguishable from the rain drops that flowed down his face and pounded his body soaking him to the bone.
When he could run no more, he poured his soul out to those cold, grey tombstones. I'd like to think that night the cemetery was filled with souls full of compassion for this young man some of whom may have left this world without accomplishing that which they came here to achieve. Staring at the many tombstones, Mark wondered what his epitaph would be if his life were to end abruptly. There wasn't much to say.
It was then he made a decision. He vowed he would "never, never, ever let money control his life again." And, in that moment he felt completely at peace.
But how? Nothing had changed.
Outwardly yes but "you cannot travel within and stand still without". Although there needed to be a 'gestation period' before his outer, visible world caught up with his new feelings of prosperity in his inner, invisible world, the gestation period was short.
In 28 days Mark was financially free and, a mere 26 months later, Mark owns an online company worth £4 million and a seminar company worth at least £1 million.
This did not come about by accident. Mark had spent the early months of 2004 feeding his mind with material on wealth creation. He had a feeding frenzy, studying every book and audio program on wealth creation he could get his hands on and attending seminars on the same.
So, on that dark night in the cemetery he reached a moment of total realisation. All this material was no longer just theory. It helped him to comprehend his truth that, like all of us, he created his world, as detestable as it was, and he had the power to wipe the canvas clean and create a world that he truly desired.
Today, when Mark speaks, he speaks to hundreds of individuals at a time – and all with a pulse! I have personally witnessed teenagers and octogenarians alike hang onto his every word. It is at these times he says he feels most joyful. He defines the mission of his companies as:
"Sharing with as many people as possible the personal development insights, tools, strategies, and education that have made such a MASSIVE impact in my life, and in the life of my loved ones."
When Mark was broke he was powerless to help his family who were also going through great financial difficulties. He was powerless to help his girlfriend who was ill. He was powerless to help those he loved. To be incapable of expressing your love for those you care about can seem like the worst form of punishment. Now he need not ever be in that position again.
Anthony Robbins, in Notes from a Friend, says:
"The only way to change your life is to make a real decision. A real decision means that you cut off any other possibility than the one you've decided to make a reality."
When Mark decided to turn his life around, when he decided that it was no longer acceptable to struggle with money – having cold sweats about being able to make monthly payments, agonising about getting a pay cheque, worrying about where to lay his head down at night and how to feed himself during the day – that decision was irrefutable.
Everyday we are given choices – the opportunity to make decisions. Yet so many people are ambivalent in this area and this leads to discontent. Please don't think that Mark hasn't made 'wrong' decisions since that night – of course he has – but his overriding decision was to become financially free and so every decision he has made since then, whether it turned out the way he wanted or not, brought him one step closer to his goal.
Neale Donald Walsch, author of Home with God sums up decision-making beautifully:
"Every decision you make - every decision - is not a decision about what to do. It's a decision about Who You Are. When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes. You begin to see life in a new way. All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do."
Decide how you would live your life and then set about with complete certainty to create it. All it takes is a decision to turn your life around.